I don’t believe it is possible to put a whole person in a “small box” of what words can describe especially words of an inexperienced writer like myself. I believe that we change and ‘expand’ all the time so describing myself a year ago can feel as if I am describing a total stranger.
I like to reflect. They say that one life consists of many chapters. I like to think that my life consists of many lives. This is because every time I move to a new country, it feels as my life begins again.
My first life began in Ukraine or rather in the USSR, that has collapsed shortly after I was born. When I was 5 y.o., my father escaped “The Iron Curtains” of USSR by jumping on a fishing boat that sailed around the World. “Escaped” because at that time it was near-impossible to travel outside the USSR. He, like any other person, was curious about other countries and people. It is just natural to long to explore and see new places. All people are born free, however, some have to fight to experience this freedom.
We regularly received parcels from my father with exotic food (for those living in the USSR) like chocolate, bananas, red caviar and chewing gum 🙂 At that time, no one in my town knew what is a chewing gum?! Being a little entrepreneurial, I swapped many of my chewing gums for different toys and other “treasures”. In my dreams, I always hoped to receive a real monkey in a next parcel but it proved to be difficult to send it 🙂
Three years passed when I saw my father again. When he returned, I was very shy in his company because I forgot how is it feels to have my father living with us. I even referred to him in “Vi” which is a respectful form of “you” in the Russian language and used for addressing people you don’t know very well. Luckily, I adjusted back after a week or two and got used to my father again. I learned that:
To dream and to follow your dream is important even if it might not be an easy way for everyone around you. The easy way is not always the best way either!
My second life began in England. I moved there in a search for new experiences and, as it is fashionable to say today, “in a search for myself”. Having received my Master’s degree in Civil Engineering, I found it was difficult to see myself working as one. Am I ready to work full-time? Do I want to work as an Engineer? Am I really an Engineer in my heart? Do I even want to live in Ukraine? The best way to answer those difficult questions, I figured, was to travel!
In England, I tried myself in several professions from a lifeguard in a pool to a model, from a gym instructor to acting and film editing. The life in the capital of culture, London, opened totally new horizons for me. I realized that we can be whatever we want to be. You don’t have to stick to the same profession for all your life if this is not what you want to do.
You don’t have to belong to a place or a culture…you can let a place and culture belong to you.
I acquired a taste for moving and changing sceneries. I began to love challenges of learning a new language and developed some sort of strange addiction to feeling out of place and being a beginner. I developed, even more, questions that I wanted to find answers for. At the same time, I found myself deeply attracted to those mysterious Nordic countries. So I went.
My third life began in Sweden. It feels as Sweden likes me back, I got amazing friends, a boyfriend, and a career. I even answered the question, whether I want to be an engineer. The answer is NO! It feels as I need to keep searching. I embraced that say that “life is not a destination”. Indeed, it is a journey!
It is important to have fun, to listen to your intuition and keep exploring.
I know that I want to live many more lives. Currently, I am learning French. Hell Yeah!! I am excited about where this will lead me 😉